When I first began this project a year ago, I was filled with excitement at the thought of baking 203 recipes in a year. I'm so glad I did not push my idealistic Self into sacrificing all else to accomplish this unrealistic goal. I have learned that it's OK to be flexible, modify and renegotiate life's projects. To accept my limitations and still enjoy the process. I have learned that I am a Great baker. I have also realized how much time, money and energy it takes for me to bake. It is a lot of work and it usually leaves me exhausted. I have come to the conclusion that if there was just one great European bakery (NOT Starbuck's stale baked goods) with Great tarts and macaroons nearby (or at least on the Island), I would not bake. Maybe the occasional birthday cake or cupcakes, holiday treats or a special request for a loved one (eg. BF's chocolate chip cookies). I'm tired and it's too Hot. I have a 3 and 8 year old I want to play with, swim in the pool with, slip and slide, water balloon fight, perform on their stage, and ride bikes to the park. I don't want to be in the hot kitchen for hours and then have to clean up and be too stressed out to enjoy my them. The days they are with their dad I want to relax, read and spend time with my BF, not "slave" over the oven. Paradise is not made for baking. I could use the time I use to bake to clean the house, plant flowers in my empty garden, draw, learn to play the Piano, Meditate, take a nap (not while meditating) , watch "In Treatment" (My new favorite show), or Dr. OZ on Oprah for life saving advice. A year ago I was wondering whether I wanted to go to The Cordon Bleu, Now I KNOW I just want to go to Paris and sit in a cafe and eat a chocolate croissant. Now I know I do not want to open my own bakery. Now I know I do not want to sell my baked goods but bake for those I Love. Now more than ever I know my calling is Neuropsychology and Existentialism. I know I'd rather read than bake. I also know I'd rather spend baking money at Whole Foods for a healthy nutritious diet. Organic costs more but it's worth it. I'm worth it. My kids are worth it. In this Economy it seems frivolous to spend $40 to make a cake. Especially after reading Henry David Thoreau's "Walden"; SIMPLIFY. I am so thankful for all of the support and feedback my family, BF and friends have given me throughout this year. I am so flattered that my friend CG was inspired to begin her own baking blog " eatamarthacupcake". She has been our baked goods supplier this summer. Yummy! All that been said, I am going to to continue the project. I believe in finishing what you start. It will now be one of My Many LIFE Projects. If in My Present Moment I Feel like baking, I will. If Not, I won't. As with everything in my life I want baking to be a living Meditation.
Namaste
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